How to Have a Happy Holidays WITH the In-Laws
Guide to Happy Holidays With the In-Laws
anticipate a time of love and joy-- while others can't wait for this
season of guilt and manipulation to be over.
about us, pry into our personal lives, and manipulate us with guilt. Some
fathers-in-law criticize us, offer unwanted advice, and meddle with
the way we raise our kids.
Spending time with our spouse's family is part of the marriage
commitment, so we might as well learn to make the best of it.
Here are five ways to improve visits with your in-laws:
Be confident and assertive (but not antagonistic, hateful or vengeful).
2. Unite as husband and wife to deal with difficult in-laws.
Make decisions based on your needs as a couple, and then communicate and
draw (reasonable) boundaries with Hubby's folks as needed. If
your partner struggles with making you a priority over his parents, then
educate yourself on how to gain his loyalty.
your husband's parents in his presence because that will trigger his
instinct to defend them. When necessary, vent your frustration to a
counselor or support group instead of your family or friends.
Apologize to your in-laws for gossiping about them, tell them you
intend to stop doing so, and ask them to show you the same
respect. Ask your spouse to refuse to listen if his folks start to talk
behind your back.
4. Be prepared to handle difficult situations with your
in-laws. Memorize some key phrases to use when they ask intrusive
questions, interfere with the way you raise your kids, offer
unwanted advice, manipulate you with guilt, etc.
"That's classified. I could tell you, but then I'd have
to kill you."
"Let's talk about something else instead."
"You're entitled to your opinion, but I've made my decision."
"I know you're just trying to help, but this isn't your decision."
When you start to behave in a new way, your in-laws will begin to