Forced Family Fun

How to Enjoy the Great Outdoors (Whether You Like It or Not)!

When the leaves first started turning green again this spring, I wanted to get my family out for a hike, a bike, a walk or anything outdoorsy. Last summer on one of the last days before school, I took my two for a nature walk at a preserve that isn’t too far from our house. It was as if they came alive. They ran on the paths, swung on vines and jumped into the creek bed. It was amazing to see. After days at the pool, doing something adventure-ish awoke their spirit. I vowed to do more.

As soon as it turned warm and those new buds were on the trees, I was on a mission. I scanned the “Trails” website and app for someplace we had not been before, but someplace with a creek or river or some views. And maybe someplace with some history.

Weekend after weekend was lost to soccer game, errands, rain, church activity or worst of all kitchen counter painting.

Finally, this last weekend was Mother’s Day. The sun was shining. The day was relatively warm. The rains had ended. No one could deny me a hike on Mother’s Day. However, we had to start the day with an end-of-year church-school-celebration. As I’m head Church Mom this year and I can’t just skip the celebration. 

After that, I was rearing to get outdoors. Then my husband suggested we go to our traditional Mother’s Day restaurant and have brunch. Who can say no to Mother’s Day French Toast? Everyone knows that is a calorie free treat for Moms. So pass me the syrup. We had a lovely brunch. But a nice brunch demands one thing. A nap. So at about 12:00 on my Mother’s-Day-Hike-Day, I parked the kids in front of episodes of “Doctor Who” and took a two hour nap. I can’t complain. It was a good nap but the day was wasting away.  

I had identified a hiking spot at a State Park the night before and Grant's Birthplace and School House historical home an extra half hour away. We set the GPS in the car and turned on the Pandora PG Comedy Radio and took off. The drive was beautiful as we took the Scenic Byway Route. The world was a green cathedral, bright green leaves everywhere and beautiful mountains. At last we arrived at the Grant's School House. It was closed. The hours on the sign (and the ones I’d read online) were from Memorial Day to Labor Day. We read the historical marker and kicked the gravel. My husband, a history pro, told us all about the history. We got back in the car and headed for the State Park. Surely they don’t close those.

We got to the park and parked near some paths. Hallelujah. We were going to hike. We started off on our merry way. It was great while the path were graveled. Sadly, beyond the gravel the paths quickly turned to mud. We traveled on a little ways picking our way through the mud. My daughter’s shoe got stuck at one point and we had to pull it out. Everyone was a good trouper for me and my hiking desires. That is until the path became a pond. We threw rocks in then had to give up and turn around.

That night at dinner my husband asked, “What was your favorite part of the day?” My son had liked throwing rocks in the Path/Pond. My daughter had liked breakfast. My husband said he liked the historical sight, just seeing it, even though it was closed. Me? I had loved the drive. I had loved seeing the bright green of spring and listening to my family all safe together, laughing to the comedians. It was the journey for me. But everyone had enjoyed something beyond the ordinary errands, cleaning and yard work. Everyone had a new memory. So I’ll keep trying to schedule my Forced Family Fun because we only pass this way once.

Margee Moore is a marketing professional and mother of two outdoorsy kids. Her book “Sleeping with the Laundry: Notes from the Mommy Track”  is available on Kindle for $3.99.  

Wear This. Not That.

“It’s kind of surprising when you look at our beautiful house, that we live here.” My daughter said to me a few weeks ago. I paused. No matter how you slice this sentence, it is NOT a complement, except maybe to the house.

“Really?” I said. “Please explain.”

“Our house is so nice,” she continued. “And we dress like this.” 

“I dress nicely,” I said. Then I looked down at my 3 day old workout clothes and thought about my uncombed hair.  “…sometimes.” I added. “I look like a healthy mom who works out.”

“Sure, Mom.” She replied. And so the teen years begin at age nine.

Like many moms, I love fashion. Love to shop. Love to dress up and look nice. But the realities of my day to day schedule don’t make wearing heels and skirts sensible. I blame Dance Camp and Downton Abbey, for this drift between my daughter’s perception of me and me. On Downton Abbey, the PBS series about a wealthy English aristocratic family and their swank abode, they dress up for dinner complete with gloves and jewels even when it is only the family. Who does that? 

We had been letting her watch the show figuring it was PBS. It should be safe right? Then one day she asked us, “What’s a mistress, Mom?”

“Another name for girlfriend,” I explained and promptly outlawed unsupervised watching of the show.

This fashion rift also took place on the week of Dance Camp. Even though I am unemployed and pinching pennies, I signed my kids up for Dance Camp just to have a few hours free to job search. It seemed like a good idea, that is, until my son got kicked out.

In my defense, the registration form said Dance Camp was for both boys and girls. I was so excited to have both kids in one camp. It didn’t occur to me that learning “Hip Hop” was not enough to draw boys. I guess I’ve seen too many Kidz Bop videos where normal, well adjusted boys seem to delight in dancing. Reality check: My son was the only boy and he was not well adjusted about it. He was mad. “In a few more years you would thank me for this,” I said.

So since I had paid, I made him go. He paid me back in spades. My son has ADHD and sometimes finds it hard to control his impulses. It appears the music moved him so much that he took off his shirt, whipped it around over his head, ran up the bleachers and jumped off. Yes. Really.

I got the call. “Mrs. Moore, can you come get your son?” When you have the kid with ADHD you get used to the calls. 

Like many moms, I feel better when I tell my friends my troubles. My friend Alex listened thoughtfully and added,   “I’d have asked the Camp Director, ‘What kind of music are you playing there, anyway?”

My husband’s friend Don asked when self-expression got outlawed in this country.

The ironic treat is that two nights later I watched a group of boys at a baseball game do the same stunt and everyone was smiling at them. Where were they during Dance Camp? My son could have had his own boy band going.

Back to the fashion rift. For my daughter’s final performance (my son was at home), I noticed all the moms were dressed perky and cute. The girls too. Bows in hair. Pom-poms galore. 

My daughter did fine but she didn’t look as comfortable as she does on the soccer field where her elbows are nicknamed, “Rock” and “Assault.” We were in a restaurant when she came up with the names. She meant to say “Rock” and “Salt.” But her dad heard “Assault.” My husband laughed so hard that she didn’t have the heart to correct him. I think he thought he’d finally gotten the linebacker he’d always dreamed of.  

So anyway, at the dance performance, not one mom was in her workout clothes. Luckily I’d gotten the memo and wore a summer skirt. Still I felt inadequate. The solution? Next year, I’m thinking engineering camp. Maybe then my I’ll look fashionable in comparison. 

Margee Moore is a marketing professional, job seeker and mother of two. Her book “Sleeping with the Laundry: Notes from the Mommy Track” is now available on Kindle.

5 New Funny Books for Moms and Parents: Best Parenting Humor List 2011 and 2012

Looking for something funny to read on parenting? I've rounded up some of the best new favorite funny books that will help moms laugh. All books are published in 2011 or 2012. Check out this list and share your favorites with me in comments or on the Sleeping with the Laundry Facebook page.

1.  Let's Panic About Babies!: How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain, ... Turn You into a Worthwhile Human Being by Alice Bradley The list author says:   "This book is great to pick up and put down when you need a laugh. Published in 2011, it is a great addition to the parenting humor field." $10.19   Used & New from: $2.99    (54 customer reviews) Create your own Listmania! with this product

2.  Ketchup is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves by Robin O'Bryant The list author says:   "New in 2011, Robin O'Bryant is a published humor columnist. Charmingly honest Ketchup is a Vegetable made me laugh out loud from page 1." $5.99   Used & New from: $5.65    (245 customer reviews) Create your own Listmania! with this product

3.  Stuff Every Mom Should Know by Heather Flett The list author says:   "Stuff Every Mom Should Know makes a nice new mom or shower gift with practical advice and humor." $9.95   Used & New from: $2.48    (4 customer reviews) Create your own Listmania! with this product

4.  Help, Mom's Stuck on Spin Cycle: 31 Days to Laugh Your Way through Motherhood by Cheryl Moeller The list author says:   "Cheryl Moeller brings us some good therapy with humor. Released in 2011, this stand up comic shares her ministry to improve lives of others with a laugh." $2.99   Used & New from: $0.99    (22 customer reviews) | 1 customer discussion Create your own Listmania! with this product

5.  How to Spread Sanity on a Cracker: Mom-to-mom whines, cheese, rants and recipes by Jackie Hennessey The list author says:   "Jackie Hennessy dishes up laughs and recipes. Enjoy!" $2.99   Used & New from: $2.97    (8 customer reviews) Create your own Listmania! with this product

Margee Moore is author of   Sleeping with the Laundry (Notes from the Mommy Track )

3 Ways to Go a Little Greener

Lately it seems that we are all trying to go a little more green or get a little more green of the pastoral kind in our lives. From finding ways to spend more time out in nature to cutting back on our carbon footprint, here are three ideas:

Throw a block party.

At least once a year, on either the Fourth of July or Labor Day, we close our street and roll out the grills, lawn chairs, coolers, deviled eggs and oodles of desserts to commune (drink beer) out in nature. Though it may not be as outdoorsy as a nature hike, it truly is a “gateway drug” to getting people outside. This year, despite the heat, almost our entire block met for the Fourth. The kids played games in the sprinklers while we sat in the shade and caught up. Our neighbor Anne is the organizer and all she says she has to do is copy the flyer each year and get the permit from the city to close the street. If you put a flyer in our mailbox, we will come… and bring side dishes to share.   

At the block party, my daughter and two friends Lily and Caitlin drifted into the backyard to play in the playhouse. They were using their imaginations. If they had $30,000 how they would deck out the playhouse to live there? They had ideas where they could put solar panels, a fridge, a clothes line (yes), shelves, bunk beds, etc. Later, my daughter told me that Caitlin asked where they could put a TV. Both Lily and my daughter were adamant. “Why would we need a TV?” they said. “We have the Nature channel right outside our window.”

Do less laundry.

I love clean clothes as much as the next person, but if we could do less it would be better for the environment. After vacation this year, I noticed that half the clothes in the pile waiting to be folded were my daughters. It was easy to see as I was looking at a sea of pink. So we started a contest. Whoever had the least amount of laundry all week won. My daughter found it very easy to go from PJ to a bathing suit and back to PJ each day. I was doing great too. I could go from PJ to work out clothes to my swim suit. My daughter added the rule that interview clothes don’t count. But wearing the same workout clothes for a whole week was just too much. On the fourth day, I put on my shirt and could not breathe because it was so stinky. I cried “Uncle” and my daughter won. We’re not competing anymore but we still try to conserve on laundry for green reasons. And my daughter is absolutely hooked on wearing her PJ all day. So we created one good green habit…I guess.

Actually recycle.

My friend Catherine and I were talking on the phone. It’s one of her pet peeves that kids today don’t recycle. Particularly her own kids. She is a passionate environmentalist and you would think her two boys would follow suit. After all, it’s their plant next. So we were talking about this on the phone while my daughter was right by my side. “You don’t recycle, Mom.” She said a little too loud. Ack. I try to recycle but sometimes I don’t get it all. Catherine would be so disappointed in me if she heard. I held my hand over the phone and kept my cool. “I mostly recycle,” I hissed at my daughter. She pointed at the trash can. “No you don’t.” She said. Darned kids are too honest sometimes. Well, shame is a great motivator. I found a new more easily accessible home for my recycle bin and I’m trying harder to save the planet. .. one empty milk jug at a time.

Margee Moore is a marketing professional, job seeker and mother of two. Her book “Sleeping with the Laundry: Notes from the Mommy Track” is now available on Kindle.

6 Ways to Turn Chores Into Family Fun This Summer

Chores are the backbone of America. They help kids learn responsibility, time management and everyday living skills. Plus, the more work we can sluff off onto their shoulders, the less we have to do.

But motivation can be a challenge and you don’t want a lot of nagging to bring your summer down. So in that spirit, here are some easy ideas to make teaching values more fun.

1.    Add a monetary component.

One of my goals this summer is to get some dinner-making off my plate and onto my kid’s. Every week, I’m taking them to the grocery store with $15 each to make a complete meal for a night all on their own including 2 vegetables and one must be green. (No. Green rice crispy treats do NOT count as a green.) At the end of a successful supper, I’ll reward them with a dollar. Sure it will be a lot of Tacos, Spaghetti and Lasagna, but I’ll have them trained to make 10 easy meals by fall. Plus, since I’ve added in money management skills, I get to brag about it to my friends while I lounge by the pool.

2.    Put a timer on it.

Instead of issuing sitting time outs to my high-energy son, I issue working time outs or laps around the block. But I was getting challenged over getting started. So, I came up with Stop-Clock-Timer-Time-Outs. “For your working time out, bet you can’t un-stack that dishwasher in less than 3 minutes,” I say and then hit the start button on the timer. It works. No more arguments. Sadly, though, his sister wants Stop-Clock-Timer-Time-Outs too and the amount of hitting and bad behavior at our home has increased. But on the bright side, that’s exercise too.

3.    Make it a competition.

As in tip 2, have the kids compete but against each other instead of the clock. This teaches them the good old fashioned value of sibling rivalry. For some reason, my kids fuss over who has to get out of the car to walk the videos up to the Redbox or to the library. Honestly, they whine about that. So I made a race out of it. Which child can return the movie faster or with fewer steps? Now when we pull into the lot they are both rearing to go.

4.    Add a can of paint.

I believe in exploiting my kids to get the work done, but the mess they make painting is 10X more work than the help I get. No matter how quietly I prep an area, as soon as I open a can of paint my kids suddenly appear. “Can I help paint?” My daughter asked me recently. “Do you have any references?” I asked. She checked her elbows. “I don’t think so.” She replied. My son arrived. “Can I help?” I didn’t even know that was in his vocabulary. I gave in and let them help, but it gave me an idea. Since paint attracts them, I now keep a can around and open it when I’m looking for helpers. Whatever works right?

5.    Reward with stickers.

Much as I may seem like a lazy mom, I don’t want my kids to be lazy. Summers go fast and we don’t want to waste them. So, I make my kids get in at least two “Summer Bridge” worksheets, their reading logs, piano practice and basketball practice each day. Turns out, Teens and Tweens still love stickers (especially when you attach a monetary value to them such as a nickel). We use charts and stickers to mark task completion. It gives a sense of accomplishment and a visual reminder that summer is fleeting and to soak it in—that is, once you get your work done.

6.    Give it a cool name.

At our house, instead of folding clothes on Sunday night, we hold a Family-Fold-A-Thon. Instead of putting shoes in the hall closet, they go in Shoe World. This summer since I don’t have a job yet and the kid’s labor is free, they are going to help me build a retaining wall. Let me rephrase that. As part of Art and Architecture Week, we’ll be building “the Great Wall of Cooper Avenue” together! (Yes, the Great Wall of China was my inspiration on the name) And yes, I’m still working on it.

Margee Moore is a marketing professional, job seeker and mother of two. Her book “Sleeping with the Laundry: Notes from the Mommy Track” is now available on Kindle.

Life Lessons from a Homeless Shelter

People are basically good. I believe we all want to do the right thing. It’s just that sometimes our couches get way too cozy. Two times a year, my friend Dawn organizes the tuna casseroles and gathers a crew to staff a soup kitchen for our church’s rotation. We’ve been doing it for three years now. I’m on cookie duty which means I simply show up with 500 Oreos. I bring the kids because it’s good for them. Not too tough. Yet sadly, I only go twice a year when Dawn reminds me. I guess we get busy. 

This year, our rotation came around on a sunny Friday in April. Since the weather was so nice, both kids complained that they didn’t want to go.

“I don’t want to go either.” I said. “But it’s just something we’ve got to do.” I was tired from a long, fruitless day of job hunting and feeling like I was the less fortunate myself. Just that day, I’d received a rejection email that read:

We have reviewed your resume/CV and have decided to pursue other candidates who are more qualified for this position.

Take Your Daughter to Work Day 2007?

Seriously? A real person had to write that. Even if it was possible (that there could be someone more qualified), which I seriously doubt, couldn’t they write something like: “I’m sorry it’s not you, it’s me. Your talents and accomplishments are amazing. But our small-sighted company just can’t commit to a brilliant and creative marketing pro like you at this time. Really, it’s our issue, not yours.”

Then here was the kicker: We encourage you to review other open positions at our career site…

Really? So they could write me more stimulating and motivational notes? It’s the rejection letter equivalent of “can we still be friends?” Well, the answer is NO. And when I choose small business credit card processing services, I’ll take my business elsewhere and then they’ll know the fury of a job applicant scorned. I didn't really want your darned VP job anyway. So there.    

This was my mood when I packed the kids in the car. Since my husband was home early that day, he came along too. For reasons of schedules or the aforementioned comfortable-couch problem, he’d never been before.    

My Work Crew enjoying Art for All 

At the kitchen, my husband manned the casseroles with his friend Chris. My kids passed out cookies with their friend Jacob. For some reason, passing out cookies is extremely popular with my two. Go figure. We teach them to greet each person and look them in the eye and smile. I handed out the waters and did the same. The line formed quickly and I was pleased to see that there were a few less people than our fall visit. I was hoping it meant the economy was on the upswing. But the kitchen manager said it was probably just that the weather was nice. My husband was soon a pro at filling plates. Who knew he was so good in the kitchen?

All of the line participants were pleasant and appreciative. It felt good to be doing something for someone else and soon my mood lifted. One man made a point of saying to me, “Thank you for this meal. May God return the blessing to you that you have given to us this day.”

I thought about my own joblessness and how easily our positions could be switched. And though it was a nice thing to say, it was probably just that.

Afterwards, our serving crew met at a pub for drinks and dinner. And despite the fact that my husband and I are cutting back on expenses, going out is still something we can afford to do. Just less often. There was a feeling of camaraderie at having done something good. The bounty of our own blessings was apparent, good friends, sweet kids, nice clothes and fun places to go.

When we were leaving, my husband made a point of stopping Dawn to thank her for organizing it. “I got so much more than I gave,” he said. “Thank you.”

The following Monday, a job didn’t suddenly drop in my lap from the man’s blessing. Life is more subtle than that. But I opened my ebook’s page on Amazon to see a 5-Star gift bestowed on me in the form of an outstanding review. It was from a woman reader, a complete stranger. And it was pure gold. She loved my book, said it was LOL. It’s moments like these, when you just know we are not abandoned and not alone.  

And once again, I got back so much more than I gave.  

Margee Moore is a marketing professional, current job seeker and mother of two. Her book “Sleeping with the Laundry: Notes from the Mommy Track” is now available on Kindle. Share your thoughts with me at editor@moxiemom.com. 


Listen to this post on NPR station WVXU, Around Cincinnati with host Lee Hay. First aired June 24, 2012.  Enjoy! 

Shame on the Queen. She's one of the few chicks in the world who is allowed to wear a tiara or a crown and she chooses hats. Bring on the bling please.